"The past appears to be the present sometimes, and the present appears to be the past. And there is the future in mind, also, for all of us. But I personally find myself much better off not worrying about either the past or the future. Merely taking care of the present is all I can handle."
“Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.”
WHY CLIMBING IS BETTER THAN SEX (a man’s perspective):
1. When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
2. If you climb with someone other than your regular partner No one gets mad, in fact, you can all climb together and share protection!
3. You can reuse your protection, and someone else can even clean it for you, provided you don’t put it in too deep.
4. A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
5. No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
6. Having a belay slave is not a criminal offense.
7. The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
8. Dry friction is a positive quality when you’re climbing.
9. The rocks don’t care if you show up late.
10. When you’re climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
11. When you’re climbing, weird body positions are considered “cool”.
12. The rocks don’t complain when you don’t want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
13. A three-finger pocket isn’t too big.
14. You don’t have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.
WHY CLIMBING IS BETTER THAN SEX (a woman’s perspective):
1) The rock is always hard.
2) Rocks are never busy watching football when you’d rather climb.
3) Rocks don’t complain about the kind of protection you want to use.
4) You can go climbing with another woman and nobody will call you names or hassle you.
5) You can use ropes and harnesses and nobody will think you’re kinky.
6) You can go climbing any time of the month.
7) It’s over when *you* reach the peak.
8) You won’t die of embarrassment if your mother finds your rock gear.
9) If it’s in too deep, you can yank on a nut.
10) Nobody ever got pregnant rock climbing!
11) If you need something REAL big, you can always put in a Big Bro’!
I wouldnt go as far to say sex is ‘better’ than climbing, id say they’re more or less equal. But this is still funny.